Probably, My Last Thank You !!!

Today during a conversation with my friends made me realize something, how things have changed, how my life has changed ..in other words moved on !! There was a two year phase in my life, a phase filled with mood swings, ups and downs with so much negativity. All i used to do was crib.. blah, blah and blah for every smallest possible trouble.

And then, somehow,magically it was all gone. It was end of 2010. So many people knowingly or unknowingly were responsible for it. 

You meet thousands of people, none of them touch you. And then you meet that one person and your life is changed forever; in my case there were few such people. They just changed me inside out. I don't know, how they manage to do it but somehow they did it.

Now i know my life is way toooo beautiful !! I'm facing just 0.001% problems of life..and when i see people with 99% problems smiling..i get a smile, that is worth so much.

I love myself, my life, my parents, my family, my girlfriend, my friends..and everyone who has somehow knowingly or unknowingly touched my life. I just don't want to hate anyone anymore. Probably life is too short to waste time for such silly things.

I say thank you way too much, 

And probably today for the last time, i want to thank each and every person that is responsible for the person i am. Love you all, sooooo much. A big waala thank you !

PS: Someone taught me to see life/things from the top..things we most of the time crib about have no meaning when seen them as part of our life as whole. So just let these things go. Love your loved ones. And also made me realize how beautiful our life is, and how beautiful are people that are part of it. Will love and miss her till the end :-)

Euthanasia - his verdict for her.

Euthanasia refers to the practice of ending a life in a manner 

which relieves pain and suffering.

He saw nothing, felt nothing.. compared to what they saw and what she felt. It's a story of a brother who was seeing all the pain from the distance. The sufferer was her angel sister, a sis who was fighting for her life. A life which she had just started living. 

Cancer was it, bloody reason for all the troubles of her life. In simple words, the army of cells protecting her body from external attacks, was now responsible for attacking it. It all began with a small stomach pain. And it was never better. He knew for sure it was just another pain and everything was going to be normal as ever.

He could see all the signs, but he was always positive. Nothing gonna stay that long. And he was always wrong. Every update from the doctor was worst than the last update. It was almost 8 months, every possible thing was approached for. 

He could see her getting weak, and with the decrease in the body's potential to tolerate pain. Doctors knew it, she knew it, they knew it, he knew it..all could see feel it. But none, never in their wildest dreams ever had imagined it to come true. None wanted to believe, that the girl so brilliantly nice, simple, sweet and with the most beautiful soul was there at the end.

The pain was untolerable, yet he could see her smile. There was no more peaceful sleep, nights were no longer a place to sleep. The pain was throughout. Her single cry in pain, was unbearable for him to handle. It was kinda miracle to see that smile every morning with such a painful night and day before. 

And one day she talked about euthanasia to her mom.

She knew about the pain, she knew what she was asking for, her mom knew what her daughter, the best-est daughter ever was asking for. But all she could do, to take her away from such thoughts. 

She kept asking it again and again. It was the most difficult thing she could ever ask her parents, her sister. But she did, the pain made her do it. 

Soon came the last night, the last night he wished her "good night"...the last night she asked for euthanasia, the last night of pain, the last night he could hear her voice.

The last night, that painful last night for her.
God finally choose to end all her troubles, she was called up there at heaven. 

PS : Once she talked to him about her will to leave the world. He still revisits those memories, the painful memories, the beautiful memories, when she asked him to look for everyone after she leaves.

If she would have had asked for his verdict on euthanasia that time, it was a no for sure. He wasn't that brave as she was.

In This Fast World, Stop a While, look Around 

Appreciate What You see..

You never know whats gonna happen next . 

Then Why Worry.. Lay Back And Relax. 

Appreciate and Enjoy Life

Love this scene :)

Do spare out some time to watch this 3mins video.

A must watch for people in love ;)

You're Beautiful..

Modified version of You're Beautiful...

based on true story...and my first attempt to write a song, so what kuch lyrics copy kiye hai... atleast i started :P

I saw an angel.

Of that I'm sure.

She smiled at me in the physics lecture..

from three rows away..

She was studying scattering of color gray..

I wont lose no concentration too..

But I'didnt had any plan..

Ohh..

You're beautiful. You're Beautiful.

You're beautiful..it's true.

I saw your face in a crowded class

And i dont know what to do.

'Cause i always wanted to be with you..

Yeah, she caught my eye,

As we walked on by.

She could see from my face that I was,

Flying high..

And I don't think that I'll ever loose her..

As we share a relation that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw your face in a crowded class,

And I don't know what to do,

'Cause i always wanted to be with you..

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

There must be an angel with a smile on her face,

When she thought up that I should be with you.

And it's time to enjoy the truth,

I will always be with you..

Relationship Mess

Going through the phase when my teenage hormones were at peak (though technically i'm not a teenager but still feel, i belong to this group) i often realized how much time i wasted on stuff which had no importance in my life if seen logically, but otherwise if i see it; i gained a lot from it..few good frnds, few good relations, and a lot more..And..

Never had any wrong intentions, but i often landed myself in trouble or my close ones..!! Cried, laughed and shouted..all i have now is some good and some bad memories ! There have been times when i took life seriously and times when i followed the "chalta hai" attitude...most of which i learned in college..

Never had set any boundaries for myself, after all i knew my parents were there for me to guide. And luckily i never crossed these. These last few years have brought me closer to my mom and dad...and sometimes i regret i share my problems with my my close buddies rather them, but if given a another thought.. the generation gap still prevails !! These things often drive me crazy.

To be pecise i had 3 serious crushes and a lot normal ones, some of which were betty cooper, vanessa hudgens, emma watson...! While going through the normal ones, it was fun...but while going through the serious ones it wasn't.

"There are moments when I don't know if it's real

Or if anybody feels the way I feel..."

There have been times when i declared, enough of this...no relationship mess, arrange is way to be !! And contradicting my own declaration recently went into a relationship mess.. :'( and still into it. My sis once said "If you ever want to be in relation with someone, the first thing is to check whether you too are compatible on long run.."; never had implemented this knowledge till few months back..but did in recent times. Still struggling through the whole concept...wish everything was as simple in movies, but i know it cant be..

Definitily its not the end of this post, but have nothing more to share as i am still jumbled in complicated relationship stuff..which doesn't seems to end in the nearby future..but still whenever it does i will share with you people..

therefore..i should say this post is yet

to be continued...

Love is..

Love is always patient and kind.

It is never jealous.

Love is never boastful or conceited.

It is never rude or selfish.

It does not take offense and is not resentful.

P.S ~ I am overdozing "walk to remember" movie, yeah i know but i love doin that. And today i saw it with my dad. Had some memories added ! And yesterday i watched "Love Aajkal" with my cousins, had a great time together :)

Its only wid special people..

...conversation between two special frnds...an heated one..

Joey : I want to live independently now, i am shifting to a new apartment. Are u ok with it??

Chandler : (sad and angry looks) I'll be fine. I will just turn your bedroom into a game room or something...yeah i will put the foosball table in there.

Joey : Woh woh woh,...why do you get to keep the table? I will take it to my new apartment.

Chandler : well..I did pay for half of it.

Joey : yeah....And i paid for the other half.

Chandler : All right, i will play you for it.

Joey : All right, you are on. Well i can take two minutes out of my day to kick your ass.

The game began after few hours...

Joey : Hit the ball, pass it pass it...

Chandler : Get it out of the corner, quick quick..

After few minutes..

Joey : YES,its a goal. And the table is mine.

Chandler : Congratulations (and then he leaves the room without sayin a word)

After few days...joey finally shifting his stuff to his new apartment.

Chandler : So umm...you want me to..give you a hand in shifting the table downstairs to the delivery truck..?

Joey : naah..you keep it. You need the practice.

Chandler : Thanks !

Joey : hmmm...so i guess its the time for me to leave. take care.

Chandler : Yeah.

Then Joey leaves , chandler walkin back lonely in his apartment,... seconds later joey bangs open the door and running he jumps over his best friend and hugs him tightly.

This was what my title is all about, these things can happen only wid special people. Another example is of me and my cousin samadh. We fight a hell lot..actually we fight daily and on the silliest topics one can ever imagine. But at the end of the day while dropping him home we wish each other the best of best wishes we can..Recently he has gone to delhi..its been just 3 days and it might be few more days before he comes back but i am missing him like anything ! On the day he was leavin we had a fight and that time it was a good one..!! Last few minutes before he was leaving i even had stopped talking to him. But before the final departure, he came to me and said "Abh itna bi kya nautanki, chod na yaar" And he hugged me...i literally had tears in my eyes. It was this separation thing which brought me more close to him...



So why it is always that we realise the value of the person after we get a fear that we will be losing him/her soon..i think its this default nature we humans have with our special people. And i think we can do nothing about it,

Only way is to make best use of time, and never leave a chance to say to your special ones how much u love them and how desperately u need them in your lives.

Here is a small list of people who mean a lot to me, and i want to tell you how much i love you and care for you.

papa (if just went thru this post, i want your comment), mummy, rikita, ridhima didi, soumil , manu bhaiya, samadh, shakun didi, sumeen didi, sahil bhaiya, monica maami, shalini ma'am, jyoti ma'am, sujata ma'am, rama ma'am, mehak, taresh, sukriti, aakarsh, kunal, udit, aanchal, malika, kumar, antriksh...! I dont think i left out anyone. But if by mistake i did due to my poor memory, i am damn sorry and will update this post as soon i remember any such name..!

Love u and miss u all..

Friends..all the way

Most will say this typical filmy dialogue- "ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nahi bansakte" [a girl and guy can never be friends] does this mean opposite gender attraction and sexuality ruins what invariably would have been a good friendship?

i however beg to differ, being brought up in co-ed school ; and now when i study in a co-educational institutional college, i firmly believe that a guy and a girl can not just be friends but good friends at that. it is a popular notion that yin and yang makes a whole, this is applicable not only to a couple in love but in friendship too. i wonder why parents adopt this attitude towards their kids, where they tend to question the nature of their friendship when they see their daughter/son get too friendly with a friend of the opposite gender...thank God it is not the case in my family but i have seen many such families in my friend circle and this is not just applicable to parents but other peers too. what makes people raise their eyebrow to friendship and so called categories of friendship?

does really attraction and sexuality ruins what could have been a great friendship? my answer would be yes and no. firstly, when two people find that they are very compatible as friends and enjoy life the fullest they tend to wander just a bit thinking that good friends can end up as good lovers too, sometimes it works out sometimes it don't. and then again sometimes two friends don't look at each other as anything more than friends. this is all too complicated isn't it? actually friendship means different things to different people. its relative. so how we approach it and how we want to deal with friends and friendship is entirely depends on each person, there is hardly any rule book to it, to each his own.

it is so weird to think, that with time a guy and a girl friendship find social acceptance on the other side same gender friends are often frowned at :P! what has the world come to really? good friends are really hard to come by and when they do one must cling onto them. many of my acquaintances find it hard to believe that i have found durable friendships in the world wide web; who cares ultimately the friendship counts, the medium is irrelevant. isn't it? virtual or real friends matter the most. we made friends and friendship should not be based gender or sexual orientation of the friendship, but the feelings that is shared should be most important.

Today i saw two legendary bollywood flicks - "Jaane Tu" And "Kuch Kuch Hoota Hai.."Both having some common ending, two best friends of college falling in love at the end. After watching such movies, views do get change for some time...as i said earlier these things get really complex sometimes..!

Most of the times i hear people say.. "If they cant be good friends they cant be great lovers" doesn't it contradict my above thoughts; actually i myself am a big contradiction to my own views, as i myself have fallen in love with my two really good friends of mine ! On the contrary i have this special friend, i love her a lot but she is just a friend.. (Now i am leaving some homework for u people, i hope you won't disappoint me)

So with jumbled up conclusion at the end i want you people who are reading this blog-post to give your opinions and please give your honest opinions , ur experiences or whatever you feel about this topic. I would really appreciate that.

hasta la vista,

Finally it Rained

Phew! finally it rained.... after weeks of continuous heat wave.. it rained today, it was a relief.. with the storm blowing away the curtains.. the windows slamming...the cool breeze instilling a fresh new breath to life... finally the city today heaved a sigh of relief!

though it was hell hot in the mornin...making it impossible to continue sleeping... the sun made me wake up rudely..i had just slept few hours back. As it was weekend i slept late last night enjoying few hollywood flicks....but due to this scorching heat i was so much pissed off, and same was the case with the afternoon temperature..

But
the evening had a BIG surprise for me, it rained heavily..
...sigh! i couldn't thank god enough for this day.. for a day like this.. with clouds mystifying the sky...the sun nowhere in sight and the temperatures going down several notches...doing study on a day like this is a crime...

It didn't take long for the threats of the cloud to turn to a reality...it poured cats and dogs.. relentlessly...and we all got a breather...with the heat wave forgotten for the moment.. its a perfect time to go for walks in the rain kissed streets..with hand in hand with that special one..to drop in at the local tea-walla...or the CCD and enjoying a hot cuppa... or sitting in the car with that special someone or going for a long drive with a romantic score being played and watching the rains stain the glass... its just splendid feelings i always feel whenever it rains...! sigh!

Mother's Day

Yea i remember it was mother's day last week.. i think every dutiful child will wish their mother on such a beautiful occasion... I'm just plain handicapped when it comes to such things...its just that i feel plain awkward... this is just for my mummy...

Dear Mummy,

you know i really do remember its mothers day. no i didn't wish you, ..i didn't because i couldn't muster the courage to do it.. i feel the love, even though i want to i cant just walk up to you.. i know its as simple as walking to you and hug you tight and whisper it to you...i just wish i wasn't this way... i wish i could make you feel on top of the world on this day...

i wish i could just get you the breakfast in bed... but i didn't do it because i didn't want you to think i am capable of doing it. i feared that you will make me do it everyday if you knew i could.. :D somethings i just love you doing it... know what?? no matter what happens i love being fed by you.. its not that I'm lazy or i just want to create more troubles for you... its just that i love it this way... no i will never ever admit it to you.. :)

i wish i could gift you something worthwhile... but i cant now... but trust me... i will someday... i will give you a comfortable life, lots of love and all that you deserve but never got...but more than which i will make you proud.. i will be someone and then you can flaunt me with your friends...

know what ma? we have these huge fights... massive ones...and it really bugs me when you back out and get ur mood spoiled... because all i want is for you to fight me..not because i enjoy a good fight[ yea i do..] but i want you to stand up for yourself... you are just to soft hearted..you just are plain lucky you have dad as your hubby who shields you from all hardship.. but i want you to be independent to walk away from dad's shadow and show the world you can.. because i know you can.. and i know how you hate being totally dependent on others... here's something i want to tell you.. yea we do have these serious fights.. i do tell you terrible things.. but an argument doesn't mean i hate you... it just means we have our difference of opinion...it just pains me to see you nurture the wrong notion that i don't care a bit.. i may seem stoic but I'm not... i do care.. believe me i do.. :) nope id never say these things to you ever...

recently i have also started enjoying your endless questions, which i used to hate earlier..!! I love being momma's kid.... love the way u talk with me when i come from college...sharing my daily routine... love the way u hug me, play wid me...try to make me laugh...i love everything....and how can i forget ur lovely delicious dishes...yummy..

you know i truly feel blessed having you as my mom... "go live your life... have the career you want.. I'm there for you.." you have no idea just how much it means to me...with your belief on me...

with lots of love hugs and kisses... i hope dad wont mind will he??.

Here's wishing you a very happy mothers day!! may i be blessed with you as my mom forever and always.... you are my super mom... with your generous heart, kind nature.. tearful ways and you beautiful smile...

mwuaah... that was a smooch in case u dont know......

love you ma... just be the inspiration you are to me always.. and do keep smiling... because you look like a dragon ready to explode when you don't smile :) and that makes me feel scared... :)

your rebellious
Shoona...(i love when u call me by that name...hehe...)

Falling in Love....♥ ♥

"How do I know if I am with the right person?"

Here's the answer.

There is a cycle in every relationship...In the initial; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your partner's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stages when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner). Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results are predictable. You can "make" love. Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.


Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO.

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