Miss You Sis :'(

"I swear to you-I will always be there for you-

there's nothin' i won't do.."

Was walking back home, heard this lines. But sometimes you plan so much for life, you work hard for it. And one day all ends :'(


PS :
I'm missing my sis so so much.
Still dont want to believe she has actually left me.

Wish i could be there for her throughout my life.
All I have is, some beautiful memories :'(

Single Sibling !!

"You don't know being a single sibling is a blessing from God", "You are a single kid, you have no idea how lucky you are", "You must be getting all the attention", "You must be getting whatever you ask from your mom dad.." & so on....

I generally hear such philosophies from people who don't belong to this category of being single child. For them being single is like some great great thing. Try putting yourself in following situations i'm going to scribble below..

• You are experiencing an emotional breakdown, its 3 in the morning, do you expect to trouble your parents every time for small small issues of life.
• You and your mom-dad don't agree on some demand of yours, and you have nobody to back you.
• You get an over protective care from them, and its start getting irritating after some time.
• Very often you tend to be the total focus of attention of parents, especially non-working mothers. Child space and independence goes zero.
• Most of the time our parents are correct, but sometimes the generation gap do jumps in, and you alone cannot make them understand it.
• You just had a terrible fight with them, at least there should be someone to tell you who was correct.
• You just fell in love with a beautiful girl in college...
• And in my case, whom to tell when i get a new crush every month or two..
• You want to play double player games.
• You want to abuse someone, knowing that you would get abused in return without any harm feelings.
• You need someone to tell, the shirt you wearing isn't looking good on you.
• You need someone to fight with.
• You generally get over-depended for small small things.

You generally find substitute for your sibling, be it in cousin form, girl-friend, or your best/special friend,...but you will always land up realizing that you have a limit for that as each one of them have a life of their's own..and you cannot intrude into it every time you get an emotional breakdown or got a new crush... moreover the personal touch still remains missing.

I agree the positive points for being single kid must be equally strong, may be it so !! As the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. But still i personally feel being a single sibling isn't good for me at all..

Unexplainable Mood Swings

Nothing happened, yet i feel so much depressed since few hours. Was at my cousin's place playing guitar few hours back...as the guitar class ended i immediately came back home. It never happened, as i always used to have fun with my cousin after the class...but today i didnt feel like staying there. After that i drove car at 20 kmph which was my record slow speed..as i never had driven below 40kmph..didnt feel like doin anything. Its been 2 hrs i am back home..lying on my bed, doing nothing..listening to atif's doorie album on loop..feelong so low...yet thinking why is that so..! I am fed up with these unexplainable mood swings of mine...

PS. Prachs, Jasmine, Richa, Abhishek....got your msgs...sorry guys cudnt check your blog posts..was trying to stay away from net as much i can try ! And wont be able to check other blogs too...where i was regular..! And Jaunty will be taking your tag soon.Hope i cheer up soon.. :(

Don't Want to Go College..

My summer break just ended, it was superb - a very needed one !! Approx about 40 days, it was total fun from start to end; school friends, cousins, some very much prolong problems were sorted out, started learnin guitar, watched a trillion movies, rains, and the best part no studies ! Last time i had such lovely time it was in 12th class..and its been 2 borin years of college since then. I almost had adjusted myself in the crap college life though some part isnt that much crapy :P...learned to make perfect excuses, learned to lie, learned to bunk, learned to cheat, learned to survive in unsurvivable environment, learned to feel happy just coz i got passed by a margin rather than scoring a good score, and the best of all found a special friend with whom life seemed better at college! BUT this 40 day enjoyment ruined my adjustment!

Now i no longer feel i can adjust back there..; i had almost stopped missing my school life, i had almost started enjoyin college..but it seems its no longer!! I was always physically present there at college, but never mentally and emotionally !! Wish i cud end my college life here today itself, but reality is other way around :(

I always dreamed of a better life at college than i had at school, but that never happened. My school life is like something unexplainable..i knw many of u must be thinking "Abh bas kar rahil, jabh dekho school - school - school, come out of it..." I know u r absolutely correct, i shud come out of it but i cant do that!

But whatever i think or say, in the end i have to go college, its 8th Aug and my college opened since 1st Aug...i havent gone college yet, avoiding it completely. But this cant prolong for long, something must be done..i dont knw what that is...

hope u cud give me the solution..!