Switching Off Our Life for few moments.

Sometimes I feel a bit like a manic inside my head... 

I think my mind is like train tracks going off in all different directions.

Too many things I am always doing at once! 

It all goes round in my head, trying to juggle it all and figure out how to accomplish it.

Sometimes it makes me feel anxious. 

It feels like there isn't enough time in my life...

I live my life running, doing the things I have to do so I can do the things I want to do! 

I don't want to give up the wants to's either... they are my passions and enjoyment. So at times its a battle with myself of what will I choose!

It is a whole thing to learn daily to choose what I do and don't do and I must remember that the 'to do' list is a list that is infinite one that is constantly being added to.

Finding peace and serenity in all of this is so important, learning to find out rest and time out.

I'm thankful for every moment that I can do the things I enjoy and enjoy my life as much as possible.

When life teaches you !!

"Well open up your mind and see like me , 
open up your plans and damn you are free.." 


Was singing these lines from my favorite song -I'm yours, and was enjoying my drive to college. Whenever i'm driving millions of weird thoughts run through my mind. And this time i was thinking what if i learn this song on guitar, and BAMMM !!


Bike speed - 60-70kmph
Helmet - Yes
Still Alive - Yes !!


A cow came running in front of my bike. I got less than a second to react, and before i could do anything..i was in air, fell on my back, and another bang, helmet hit the road so hard that i went numb for next 20-30 seconds.  Have no memory of what so ever happened with me in that time. Next i remember was lying in the middle of a high traffic road. Some elder girl, made me sit, opened my helmet..could see a small traffic jam due to me and my bike lying in the center of road. The girl took me on the side, and i have no idea who helped me with the bike. I was shivering with fear. It took me 5 minutes to get control over myself. Mine mind was damn blank !! I stood up, looked down on my arms, feet, clothes. NOTHING at all had happened to me, just minor injuries. Started the bike, thanked everyone around. Continued with a normal day.


And now i know, what no one was able to teach me, life taught me today.
Drive Safely and Slowly, and always and always wear a helmet.


Your life may not be important to you, 
but for sure it is important to many other people.


Respect Life !!

Probably, My Last Thank You !!!

Today during a conversation with my friends made me realize something, how things have changed, how my life has changed ..in other words moved on !! There was a two year phase in my life, a phase filled with mood swings, ups and downs with so much negativity. All i used to do was crib.. blah, blah and blah for every smallest possible trouble.

And then, somehow,magically it was all gone. It was end of 2010. So many people knowingly or unknowingly were responsible for it. 

You meet thousands of people, none of them touch you. And then you meet that one person and your life is changed forever; in my case there were few such people. They just changed me inside out. I don't know, how they manage to do it but somehow they did it.

Now i know my life is way toooo beautiful !! I'm facing just 0.001% problems of life..and when i see people with 99% problems smiling..i get a smile, that is worth so much.

I love myself, my life, my parents, my family, my girlfriend, my friends..and everyone who has somehow knowingly or unknowingly touched my life. I just don't want to hate anyone anymore. Probably life is too short to waste time for such silly things.

I say thank you way too much, 

And probably today for the last time, i want to thank each and every person that is responsible for the person i am. Love you all, sooooo much. A big waala thank you !

PS: Someone taught me to see life/things from the top..things we most of the time crib about have no meaning when seen them as part of our life as whole. So just let these things go. Love your loved ones. And also made me realize how beautiful our life is, and how beautiful are people that are part of it. Will love and miss her till the end :-)

Euthanasia - his verdict for her.

Euthanasia refers to the practice of ending a life in a manner 

which relieves pain and suffering.

He saw nothing, felt nothing.. compared to what they saw and what she felt. It's a story of a brother who was seeing all the pain from the distance. The sufferer was her angel sister, a sis who was fighting for her life. A life which she had just started living. 

Cancer was it, bloody reason for all the troubles of her life. In simple words, the army of cells protecting her body from external attacks, was now responsible for attacking it. It all began with a small stomach pain. And it was never better. He knew for sure it was just another pain and everything was going to be normal as ever.

He could see all the signs, but he was always positive. Nothing gonna stay that long. And he was always wrong. Every update from the doctor was worst than the last update. It was almost 8 months, every possible thing was approached for. 

He could see her getting weak, and with the decrease in the body's potential to tolerate pain. Doctors knew it, she knew it, they knew it, he knew it..all could see feel it. But none, never in their wildest dreams ever had imagined it to come true. None wanted to believe, that the girl so brilliantly nice, simple, sweet and with the most beautiful soul was there at the end.

The pain was untolerable, yet he could see her smile. There was no more peaceful sleep, nights were no longer a place to sleep. The pain was throughout. Her single cry in pain, was unbearable for him to handle. It was kinda miracle to see that smile every morning with such a painful night and day before. 

And one day she talked about euthanasia to her mom.

She knew about the pain, she knew what she was asking for, her mom knew what her daughter, the best-est daughter ever was asking for. But all she could do, to take her away from such thoughts. 

She kept asking it again and again. It was the most difficult thing she could ever ask her parents, her sister. But she did, the pain made her do it. 

Soon came the last night, the last night he wished her "good night"...the last night she asked for euthanasia, the last night of pain, the last night he could hear her voice.

The last night, that painful last night for her.
God finally choose to end all her troubles, she was called up there at heaven. 

PS : Once she talked to him about her will to leave the world. He still revisits those memories, the painful memories, the beautiful memories, when she asked him to look for everyone after she leaves.

If she would have had asked for his verdict on euthanasia that time, it was a no for sure. He wasn't that brave as she was.

In This Fast World, Stop a While, look Around 

Appreciate What You see..

You never know whats gonna happen next . 

Then Why Worry.. Lay Back And Relax. 

Appreciate and Enjoy Life

Tagged Myself ;)

Have tagged myself, from a fellow blogger's blog.

It was quite a while somebody tagged me, so i tagged myself :)

10 How's

1. How did you get one of your scars? no scars yet :)

2. How did you celebrate your last birthday? full family day :)

3. How are you feeling at this moment? Smiling, happy :) though having fever ;)

4. How did your night go last night? lovely one, though without any dreams :|

5. How did you do in high school? Superb.

6. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing ? i don't remember.

7. How often do you see your best friend(s)? very less.

8. How much money did you spend last month? Rs 2500.

9. How old do you want to be when you get married? 28+

10. How old will you be at your next birthday? 22



Nine what’s:

1. Your mothers name? mummy :)

2. What did you do last weekend? no idea.

3. What is the most important part of your life? family, love.

4. What would you rather be doing? painting, sketching.

5. What did you last cry over? quite a while.

6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? Music, a episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, and talking to some frnds.

7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? Understanding.

8. What are you worried about? life after engineering. 

9. What did you have for breakfast? cheese grilled sandwich, yummy !!



Eight you’s:

1. Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend? i guess no.

2. Have you ever had your heartbroken? no never.

3. Have you ever been out of the country? Nopes !!

4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? must be some many of them, but dont remember any such now.

5. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? Nopes !!

6. Have you ever had sex on the beach? Nopes !!

7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you? Yep.

8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day? Never.



Seven who’s:

1. Who was the last person you saw? Daadi.

2. Who was the last person you texted? No idea.

3. Who was the last person you hung out with? A friend !!!

4. Who was the last person to call you? My love :)

5. Who did you last hug? My Maami :)

6. Who is the last person who texted you? Don't know, its been 3-4 months sms's banned in the state.

7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? Obviously my love :)


Six where’s:

1. Where does your best friend(s) live? skip.

2. Where did you last go? College.

3. Where did you last hang out? its been quite a while, dont remember.

5. Where is your favorite place to be? HOME :)

6. Where did you sleep last night? on my bed :D


Five do’s:

1. Do you think anyone likes you? Many

2. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Not at all.

3. Do you know the muffin man? :O Nopes !!

4. Does the future scare you? Yes.. always !!

5. Do your parents know about your blog? Yes, they do !! 

Four why’s:

1. Why are you best friends with your best friend? Skip skip.

2. Why did you get into Blogging? i loved the idea to write something in a virtual space.

3. Why did your parents give you the name you have? No idea.

4. Why are you doing this survey? have fever and nothing interesting to do :P

Three if’s:

1. If you could have one super power what would it be? to make everyone smile :)

2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? Never :)

3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring 1 thing, what would you bring ? My love.


Two would-you-ever’s:

1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you? No, and i never wish that happens. 

2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? Yep :)

One last question:

1. Are you happy with your life right now? Yuuppieee…. I am always happy* see my teethes :D :D
*conditions apply !!

Love You Till The End.

Isn't it amazing when you have that one friend, with whom you are the true you, the true being of yourself. You just want to share everything, and even silliest of the things. The one who understands your's silence. The one who's always there to guide you, support you. 

And isn't it million times more amazing when you have such friend right there in the family, right besides you. But when that person leaves you forever and all you have is just the feeling of that person around you and the beautiful memories shared, its infinite times painful. Life no longer remains the same.

I just want to see you 

When you're all alone 

I just want to catch you if I can 

I just want to be there 

When the morning light explodes 

On your face it radiates 

I can't escape 

I love you 'till the end 

I just want to tell you nothing 

You don't want to hear 

All I want is for you to say 

Why don't you just take me 

Where I've never been before 

I know you want to hear me 

Catch my breath 

I love you 'till the end 

I just want to be there 

When we're caught in the rain 

I just want to see you laugh not cry 

I just want to feel you 

When the night puts on it's cloak 

I'm lost for words don't tell me 

All I can say 

I love you 'till the end

--

PS : I miss you so much..

6th sem xams - How come They Went Well ??

First of all let me make you clear, doing good means a level better than what i did earlier in previous semesters. I sincerely i don't expect a mind blowing percentage, neither don't i ignore the fact of getting a suppli (failing) :P

#1. The fear of knowing nothing,  (even toppers say they know nothing :P but i literally mean it). That had so much scared me. And this made me study sincerely during prep holidays.

#2. One very very important person of my life always expected me do well with my exams someday. I just gave a shot this time, and did pretty well. And feel so good about it. Damn good :')

#3. Decline in online surfing, and specially total Facebook avoidance in the first few papers, magically created so much extra time.

#4. Some good music, kept me going. Specially the song "I'm Yours". Every time i got bored or felt sleepy, single dose of this song kept me going on and on and on..it freshened me up every time i heard it.

#5. Zero percent useless wastage of time on phone calls. Plus the benefit of Sms ban in J&K.

#6. Have a beautiful poster on back of my room's door. It so much motivated me, every time i thought its so difficult, it kept me moving with so much power. It had these lines :

Before you say: "I CAN'T"...

say: "I'LL TRY!"

Then GIVE IT

YOUR BEST!

#7. The fact that i did so well in the first exam despite studying it for the first time, gave me so much encouragement for the coming ones.

#8. My room was locked throughout day and night, so no external disturbances :P

#9. The fact that not for once i thought to cheat. For the first time had the confidence that i would manage myself well alone.

I hate the fact that people expectation's rise after you do well. Please don't ever dare to do that. It was just for once. At least currently i think so.

And at least as far as result is concerned, i never cared for that, nor do care this time.

To summ up, "I am happy, that i did well..as per my levels"

PS: If you are looking for your name in the above points, a message for you "you need to find a apple and i love you so much :) " 

I think a Lot.

Currently too i am too thinking about it. It the biggest negative point of i want to get rid of.

I say something bad to someone, and here goes my whole night thinking about- what i did? was it correct? what will it result into? and endless questions.

Something bad happens with me, and here goes another night wasting time to think was i at fault? what should i do next? and don't know what else my stupid tiny brains thinks.

Ahh, i so much hate this.
Will try to get rid of it.
Its just a document post which will keep reminding me that i think a lot. Hope i don't think the stupid crap anymore and concentrate on many other important things !!

PS : Wish me luck !!

When You're Gone

I always needed time on my own

I never thought I'd need you there when I cry

And the days feel like years when I'm alone

And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone

The pieces of my heart are missing you

When you're gone

The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone

The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok

I miss you

I've never felt this way before

Everything that I do reminds me of you

And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor

And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now

We were made for each other

Out here forever

I know we were, yeah

All I ever wanted was for you to know

Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul

I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

PS: My bestest sis dedicated this song to my 2nd bestest sis on her wedding. It was so apt for that time. But now it totally means some different meaning for me. Missing you riki :'(

Miss You Sis :'(

"I swear to you-I will always be there for you-

there's nothin' i won't do.."

Was walking back home, heard this lines. But sometimes you plan so much for life, you work hard for it. And one day all ends :'(


PS :
I'm missing my sis so so much.
Still dont want to believe she has actually left me.

Wish i could be there for her throughout my life.
All I have is, some beautiful memories :'(