Monday, June 8

Friends..all the way




Most will say this typical filmy dialogue- "ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nahi bansakte" [a girl and guy can never be friends] does this mean opposite gender attraction and sexuality ruins what invariably would have been a good friendship?

i however beg to differ, being brought up in co-ed school ; and now when i study in a co-educational institutional college, i firmly believe that a guy and a girl can not just be friends but good friends at that. it is a popular notion that yin and yang makes a whole, this is applicable not only to a couple in love but in friendship too. i wonder why parents adopt this attitude towards their kids, where they tend to question the nature of their friendship when they see their daughter/son get too friendly with a friend of the opposite gender...thank God it is not the case in my family but i have seen many such families in my friend circle and this is not just applicable to parents but other peers too. what makes people raise their eyebrow to friendship and so called categories of friendship?

does really attraction and sexuality ruins what could have been a great friendship? my answer would be yes and no. firstly, when two people find that they are very compatible as friends and enjoy life the fullest they tend to wander just a bit thinking that good friends can end up as good lovers too, sometimes it works out sometimes it don't. and then again sometimes two friends don't look at each other as anything more than friends. this is all too complicated isn't it? actually friendship means different things to different people. its relative. so how we approach it and how we want to deal with friends and friendship is entirely depends on each person, there is hardly any rule book to it, to each his own.

it is so weird to think, that with time a guy and a girl friendship find social acceptance on the other side same gender friends are often frowned at :P! what has the world come to really? good friends are really hard to come by and when they do one must cling onto them. many of my acquaintances find it hard to believe that i have found durable friendships in the world wide web; who cares ultimately the friendship counts, the medium is irrelevant. isn't it? virtual or real friends matter the most. we made friends and friendship should not be based gender or sexual orientation of the friendship, but the feelings that is shared should be most important.

Today i saw two legendary bollywood flicks - "Jaane Tu" And "Kuch Kuch Hoota Hai.."Both having some common ending, two best friends of college falling in love at the end. After watching such movies, views do get change for some time...as i said earlier these things get really complex sometimes..!

Most of the times i hear people say.. "If they cant be good friends they cant be great lovers" doesn't it contradict my above thoughts; actually i myself am a big contradiction to my own views, as i myself have fallen in love with my two really good friends of mine ! On the contrary i have this special friend, i love her a lot but she is just a friend.. (Now i am leaving some homework for u people, i hope you won't disappoint me)


So with jumbled up conclusion at the end i want you people who are reading this blog-post to give your opinions and please give your honest opinions , ur experiences or whatever you feel about this topic. I would really appreciate that.

hasta la vista,

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7 delusions (comments):

Jaunty anima on June 8, 2009 at 3:34 AM said...

Same pinch...it's a topic too complicated for simple gals and guys like us to understand...at one point u put forward an opinion and the other moment u contradict the same...this is the story with this whole concept of "friends and love"..
ps:I noe I wasn't of any help in putting an end to ur confusion...bt sry m myself too confused with this...

aany on June 8, 2009 at 4:17 PM said...

hhmm.............after reading this i must reallly say that u hv awsm writing skills and really gud thinking..........
ok nw coming 2 the topic.........i think frndshp and lv should b kept different .......
i m aslo lucky like u as my parents hv no probs with my frndsss eithr girl or boy............ :)
bt i think maintaining a distance in any relation (which could b harmful afterwards) is necesaaryy........like wat we say " prevention is bettr than cure"
:)

aany on June 8, 2009 at 4:37 PM said...

1 thng more.... although i hv seen kuch kuch hota h many times bt i really hate its story........watever.. being the 2nd option 4 any1 is worst ....(its my personal thinking).......
ya bt thats true k best frndss r gud luvers bt its nt imp k luvers r best frndss... :)

Number on June 8, 2009 at 7:43 PM said...

tough one, i dont know,
but now that you have asked i can give you a heuristic,
if you dont feel anything for them just continue being friends, you wont face many problems in the long run, really,
even if you feel something be a friend,
be a friend until you have reached the absolute goddamn critical point,
now if you are luck enough to have that critical point beyond the point where the both of you have fallen in love then you are really lucky,
nothing else matters,
on the other hand if you arent lucky enough get back to being friends,
now what the people really need to understand is that its ok to fall in love,
infact its this very non-understanding behavior that creates problems for all of us

samadh on June 24, 2009 at 6:30 PM said...

No comments! Itni tension kaun le, either u love someone or u dont...!! Atleast mujhe toh aisi problem aaj tak nahi aai..!!

Rikita on June 27, 2009 at 1:40 AM said...

hehe samadh...love ur pt...aktly its dat simple...c its abt level of frndship...I mean obviously a guy & a girl cud b frnd..just frnds..i mean bro agreed u lyked...oops luvd 2 of ur girl..frnds(not literally ha)...but i'm sure dere r arnd 50 oder of r opp gender frnds whom u didnt luv...
so it really boils down 2 d fact...its abt closeness....if u r really dat close...den i dnt think dere shud b any ques of not fallin in luv....its same even vid ppl of ur same gender...but coz no social acceptance ;)..so it cant b called as luv...just frndship in dat case..
Also d whole concept of luv is so 'overhyped'...is aktly d reason of such confusion..
so guess all dat i'm trying 2 say by dis llloooonnnggg post is 'YES, A GUY & GIRL CAN B "JUST" FRNDS' :) NO DOUBTS

vAnDaNa sLaThIa on August 19, 2009 at 3:45 PM said...

hmmmm,,,,,,,,,,,,,well,,,,,,,,,,,i too have so many guys around me who r like very good friends of mine,,,,,and thank god my parents don't mind

nw coming to ur prblm
a friend & love

too delicate

but hv u ever heard love then friends


i mean that is also story with few unfortunate fortunate ppl

confusing na
so urs is better

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